Mommin' Ain't Easy

Let's face it. Being a mom isn't for the weak. I see so many girls wanting to get pregnant so they can dress their babies up cute and have a little miniature version of themselves. I have news for you. Dressing your baby is like.. 2% of what being a mom actually entails. Or maybe like 5% if you have a puke machine for a baby like I do. After I get a cute picture of Jude in his little outfit, he spits up all over it and then I let him hang out in his diaper all day. That's reality. 

The truth? It's scary. It's hard. Don't get me wrong, it's the most amazing and rewarding thing I have ever experienced, but there needs to be more conversation on the realities of motherhood. 

• You will never understand how exhausting it is having a newborn, until you have a newborn. Going your whole life only being responsible for yourself, then suddenly having your own human, who needs 24 hour care.. man. It takes a lot out of you. Heck, even though my baby is 4 months old now, I'm still a walking zombie. 

- How I combat it: get into a routine! I admit, Jude and I didn't have any type of routine until he was 3.5 months. We travel so much, there was no way we could keep a consistent schedule. To get into a good schedule, I just followed his lead. I did what came naturally to him, and now that has turned into our daily routine. Jude takes 3 naps, at the same time every day. He goes to bed for the night at 8 and wakes up for the day at 7. To help with the exhaustion I nap at the same time for at least one of his naps (some days even all three times..) During his hours awake, we practice sitting up in his bumbo, play on the play mat, go for walks, and of course dance parties (Macklemore on blast all day)! Before bedtime he has a lavender bath and we either read a book or I sing him a song. Every single night. That is something he counts on now, and it's essential to his bedtime routine. I used to think giving your baby a routine was overrated, but we seriously both depend on it now. 

• Babies get stressed too! There will be times your baby just cries. And cries. And you try everything you can think of, but they're still screaming their heads off. It's stressful and discouraging at times. 

- How I combat it: have some empathy. Your new sweet pea just came out from living in a dark, quiet, warm place, where no one bugged them. Now there are lights and loud noises and changing temperatures and random people pinching their cheeks. How ANNOYING! It's such a huge adjustment for babies, so it makes sense if they get overwhelmed and have a breakdown. Take them into a dark and quiet room and just cuddle them. When Jude has had a long day being around a lot of people and their screaming kids, it's crucial for me to take him in a dark room, lay him on the bed, and just comfort him quietly until he is able to calm down. Sometimes it really stresses me out that there isn't a quick fix for his stress, but I just have to put myself in his teeny tiny shoes. 

• Everyone thinks they're an expert on parenting and babies. From the second you conceive, Janice and her entire book club all tell you what you NEED to do during your pregnancy. And don't even get me started on when your baby is actually born. You'll get more parenting advice than you ever wanted. There will be times you want to scream at the next person who tries to tell you how to raise your child. 

- How I handle it: take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Every baby is different- something may work perfectly with one of your babies, but your next baby will be the exact opposite. Try not to take things so personally, ignore Carol at Walmart who tells you you're a bad mom because you bottle feed your baby (try not to get into a brawl on aisle 5). Everyone will always have an opinion on what they think you should or shouldn't be doing. The truth? I have no idea what I'm doing (and I'm not so sure anyone else does either). This is my first baby and I'm just taking it one day at a time. 

Go with the flow. Try different techniques, feed your baby, change their diaper, make sure they're warm and give them cuddles. The rest will work itself out.