Life Of Q

christmas shopping for a baby can be so hard. not because you can’t think of anything to get them, just the opposite actually; you want to get them everything!  a few months ago, aaron and i started the transition to a life of minimalism. so, when the topic of christmas gifts for jude came up, it stressed me out a little. what is something meaningful and will last him for more than a few months? we just moved into our very own house and the idea of bringing more stuff into it, that could cause clutter, gave me anxiety. I turned to my dear friend, Pinterest for help, and found the perfect solution! something they want something they need something to wear  something to read  I loved this idea of gifting so much, my husband and I decided to do the exact same for each other. I cheated a couple of times for jude, in the name of tradition. other than that, I think it was a hit and I am so happy I came across the idea! WANT: sound machine & projector  We

I love writing monthly updates on Jude. I used to think it was a little weird why moms would do this for their babies EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH... but now I know! I don't always publish them, but I do keep drafts of Jude's monthly updates, just to have a remember each stage of his life. This past month has been so much fun with my now SIX MONTH OLD! I always say I can't believe how big he's getting, but this time I really mean it. Last year when my baby brother turned 6 months old, my mom and I thought it would be fun to throw him a half birthday party. Nothing big or crazy, just some cake and party hats. Last week when I realized how soon Jude's half birthday was coming up, I knew we had to do the same for him! Aaron and I celebrated his half year in this world by blasting the Trolls soundtrack and cupcakes.   YOU: Still waking up every 1-2 hours to eat in the night. You gave us one amazing night of sleep last week, but I guess that was just a random occurrenc

I get a lot (okay, maybe like 3) of people asking where I get Jude’s cute clothes. Well you’re in luck.. kind of. For those of you that don’t know, I have a baby brother just 9 months older than my son! It really couldn’t have worked out any better, because Jude got all his barely worn clothes, baby bjourn, Walker, swing, you get the idea. So, I really didn’t have to buy much at all. Honestly, less than half of the clothes he has were purchased by me, so I am unsure of the stores where a good portion of his clothes came from. Everything (99% of the time) I buy for him is gender neutral. So if in the future we do decide to add another member to our family and she happens to be a girl, we can hand down to her his adorable clothes! 10/10 recommend doing that. You guys, when I found out I was having a boy I cried for DAYS! Days. I was so upset; one of the main reasons why? The clothes. SO DUMB, I know! I had just imagined bows and tutus and matching fur vests, all of that was crushed w

I'm not sure why I'm publishing this. Perhaps to vent, give you an understanding of how those in your life who struggle with depression can feel, or both. If you have never struggled with mental illness, it can be so hard to understand what those who are, are living with. I often refer to my worst episodes of depression as The Darkness. To me, it's more simple that way than trying to explain the complexity of such a feeling, every time I feel it. You know how wearing sunglasses dims the color of everything? And when you take them off it's shocking how colorful and beautiful everything actually is? I am always wearing sunglasses. Nothing has much color, it's all a little dull. That's my normal- not the Darkness. No, no. When the Darkness hits, it's like the lenses of the sunglasses suddenly and completely darken. You can hardly see a thing. I could be having a good day, nothing in particular is making me anxious or upsetting me- then bam, out of nowhere...

I was so excited when I was asked to join the Let's Talk Motherhood Series! I feel honored to be teaming up with some really great ladies to all share our perspectives on the same subject, the seasons of life.    have enjoyed reading the previous posts from this series and am so excited to be sharing my perspective with you all this month.  Each blogger's info is linked at the end of my post, so be sure to go check them all out!  The Seasons of Motherhood: 1. What is something you want to remember about this particular season of life? I never want to forget how much my son loves me; especially how much he loves me in this season of life. When he is upset, it's very rare that cuddling his momma doesn't make him feel better. As much as I hope this doesn't happen, I remember how I was as a preteen and teenager, thinking I was way too cool for my parents. I cherish these times and soak in all the love he gives. As Jude grows older, I wa

4 months and 23 days. That's the answer I received when I tearfully Googled, "how long does it take to adjust to becoming a mother?" It was one of those days. The hard ones. I want to make it crystal clear, that when I talk about my tough times and trials in motherhood, it really has nothing to do with my son. It is not his fault I have struggled. I do not blame him. And he is not a difficult baby by any means.  It's hard to explain the emotions and thoughts that come with becoming a new mom, especially when postpartum depression is added to the equation. It is debilitating, but Jude is my light in the darkness.  I remember after reading about the 4 months and 23 days it took to adjust, telling myself, "if I can just make it until then, everything will be fine."  In the beginning when I was having an extra tough day, I mentally repeated "4 months 23 days." I thought for sure once that day hit, everything would come together at once and I would

Before people actually have a baby, they say a lot of things. They talk about what kind of parent they'll be and what is right and wrong when it comes to child rearing. I am extremely guilty of this! There are so many things I said I would or wouldn't do with Jude, before I actually had Jude. Everything changes when that little baby is actually here and you're just trying to keep your head above water.  My first "failure" as a mother happened within 48 hours of becoming one. I swore no baby of mine would ever have a drop of formula. Ha. As I have previously talked about, I have struggled with depression for years. I was on a pregnancy safe antidepressant for my entire pregnancy, and was told by my doctor most babies have to issue with it being in you breast milk. Jude isn't most babies. Those first two days weren't bliss, like most new mom's claim they are. They were awful. Jude was going through withdrawals from my medication, the dose he was gett

Let's face it. Being a mom isn't for the weak. I see so many girls wanting to get pregnant so they can dress their babies up cute and have a little miniature version of themselves. I have news for you. Dressing your baby is like.. 2% of what being a mom actually entails. Or maybe like 5% if you have a puke machine for a baby like I do. After I get a cute picture of Jude in his little outfit, he spits up all over it and then I let him hang out in his diaper all day. That's reality.  The truth? It's scary. It's hard . Don't get me wrong, it's the most amazing and rewarding thing I have ever experienced, but there needs to be more conversation on the realities of motherhood.  You will never understand how exhausting it is having a newborn, until you have a newborn. Going your whole life only being responsible for yourself, then suddenly having your own human, who needs 24 hour care.. man. It takes a lot out of you. Heck, even though my baby is 4 months

If you know me, you know I keep things real. My mouth often gets me in trouble, because I'm just not the type to sugarcoat anything. So here I am, telling you moms, depression fighters, and especially MOMS WITH DEPRESSION: GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE! Even if it's the last thing you want to do, force yourself, because that's when you need it the most. After I had Jude I was a wreck. My mom kept telling me I needed to leave the house, at least once a day, because it's extremely important not to stay cooped up all day with your new baby (especially when you're home alone). Of course, my stubborn self didn't listen to her and stayed in my house alone with my new baby. All day. Every day. I would have so many emotional breakdowns every day- baby blues are no joke, people. It wasn't until Jude was 4 weeks old and we moved to a new town where we knew absolutely no one (that story deserves its own post), that I decided to finally take my mom's advice and get out of